Scheduled!

Well once again, I am here to blog about my weekly appointment. And gratefully this will be the last one you have to read. I lost a lb. this week, not sad about that and wondering how it happened. Eli's heart rate was 155, I am measuring at 42.5 cm and my blood pressure was high, so they had me lay on my side which helped it to come right down.

I am dilated to a 2 and my effacement is at 60%. My Dr. asked if I wanted to wait it out or if I wanted to schedule my induction. I chose the latter. We initially were aiming for the 5th but Jed has had a meeting scheduled to meet with an accountant for work for 2 weeks, and tried to do everything possible to finish up the prep for the meeting but felt like it would be pushing it to move the meeting to Friday and not have the extra day to complete it. So he told me Saturday and asked if I could wait an extra day. I was bummed of course, 24 extra hours feels long. As I got to thinking about it, I realized that it would be nice to have a weekday to clean the house and tie up loose ends here. So my induction has been scheduled for Tuesday the 6th! I am so excited and feel like there is an end in sight. I am looking forward to getting my little boy here.

It has been really difficult for me to sleep this past week, because my arms and hands go numb. So I am constantly waking up to that painful feeling, and having to roll over to alleviate the pain. Then the other side goes numb and the cycle continues. I am being a whiner. I will be ecstatic when the numbness goes away. They go numb when I do my girls hair, or when I am driving or at all sorts of random times. But once it goes away I won't be getting much sleep for another reason. It is all worth it though.

Unexpected

My appointment was yesterday, Eli's heart rate was 139, I was measuring at 42 weeks and blood pressure is good. With my girls at this point it was always high and I would have to lay on my side to get a lower reading.

When Dr. Later came in he did and external check, and said it felt like he was head down. In a shocked voice, I said "Really?" Last night Jed and I played name that bump, and we were positive that he was still head up, feet down. Dr. Later said, sometimes I can be wrong but let's check really quick. The ultrasound confirmed that he is head down in the vertex position. I am so relieved! I am a worry wart hog, and I probably plagued my family with the case of the grumps all week because I was so stressed. I was so happy I felt like getting up on the exam table and doing a jig.

I was also told that when babies turn on their own they rarely flip back, but there is a small chance. I talked induction dates with my Dr. and he will induce me at 39 weeks, which would be the day before Easter, so we are aiming for the Monday after. If we can coordinate it with the Hospital we will shoot for April 5th, so 13 days from now! I was dilated to 1+ (I am guessing that is in between a 1-2) Effacement is the same.

Other good news is that siblings are now able to visit the maternity floor, as long as they are well. I am extremely excited about that. They still have a restriction for children unless they are siblings, but anyone 14 and up that is healthy is able to come visit.

I am so so thankful he turned on his own. I feel like a weight has been lifted off me (self induced weight) and I can fully enjoy the next couple weeks with my family without being a cranky monster/worry wart hog. :)

My emotional trauma at 37

Just as a little preface, Jed's grandpa passed away over the weekend. It was a blessing for him since he has been sick for so long. We will miss him. With that said, the viewing was Tuesday night, the same day as my appointment. I got a call from Jed about 10 minutes before my appointment asking my when I was leaving and he told me he had half the day off and was close and wanted to come to the appointment with me. That was a fun surprise since the only appointments Jed has ever been able to come to were ultrasounds.

At the appointment, we found out that his heartbeat was good I can't remember the # though. I am measuring at 40 1/2 cm. And amazingly I have only put on 1 lb. I was shocked. Since I can put out some pretty hefty numbers. Anyway, as we met with Dr. Later he did an internal check and we found out that I am still at 1 cm dilated and 50% effaced. So nothing in that department has changed, we didn't know if he was head down or not because the nurse forgot to tell me last week, I have been anxious for that bit of news. When the exam was finished Dr. Later said he didn't feel the head but didn't want to press to hard since Eli may still be up higher. So he pulled out the ultrasound machine and did a quick 5 second check to see if the baby was in the correct position. It was very apparent that he is breech with his feet down. The Dr. told us our options.

1) We can hope that he flips on his own before 40 weeks
2) If he hasn't flipped by 39 weeks we can have an external version done, in which we go to the hospital and are put on monitors and given medication to soften up my uterus so that the Dr. can attempt to flip him manually.
3)We can schedule a c-section for 39 weeks.

I left the office very discouraged, because I have delivered both of my girls naturally and I am very frightened of having a c-section. I talked with my sister about her external version and she said it was awful and had a bruised stomach, with no success of turning her baby.

I am nervous about a c-section, because I won't be able to come home and do things that I did when my girls came home, like picking up my older children, or whipping out the vacuum when the carpet needs some attention. I have a difficult time asking for help, and I am also very sad as I think about not being able to see my girls for 3-4 days, since the hospital I am delivering at hasn't lifted the restriction on children under 14 coming to visit. Or other things like that, and I am scared that I will be disappointed in myself and have to deal my emotions over that even though it won't be mine or the baby's fault, and I am not really sure how I will manage that since I usually have baby blues anyway. I keep reminding myself that what is really important is getting my baby here safely and healthy.

Jed and I have been talking about it for the past couple days, and he said that money isn't an issue and that he will support me in my decision no matter what it is. Whether I want to try the EV or just go straight for scheduling a c-section. I am grateful for that, and I am feeling that I would like to try the EV if it even gives me a glimmer of an opportunity for a vaginal birth. I just don't want to wonder later if we could have turned him.

Has anyone out there had an EV? Or what are your feelings on c-sections if you have had one, and how was your experience with either? I feel like getting a wide range of opinions will help me to feel better about either outcome and give me the encouragement I am in need of. I feel silly for being so stressed about this, but I have such a hard time with change, when I am used to things happening a certain way.

36 and then some

Over the last couple of weeks I have been feeling most drab. I have this weird thing that I do that is kind of like self punishment. Like when Emma was born, I refused to buy new pants to fit my bigger size because I wanted to be in my skinny jeans, so I lost no weight what so ever and wore maternity pants for 6 months. Or like the time in 5th grade I didn't tell my mom where I was going and got a talking to, and ended up grounding myself. I get into this thought process that I don't deserve things because I am not a certain way or I think up punishment that is supposed to motivate me and instead it only depresses me. So I decided I needed a change, I got some new make-up( which I haven't bought in over a year) and I got my haircut. It made all the difference in the world for me. I actually felt good about myself.



I had my 36 week appointment yesterday and Eli's heartbeat was 139 and I am measuring at 40 centimeters. So basically I am measuring full term when I have 4 1/2 weeks to go. I got the group B strep test done yesterday, results should be in next week. I am dilated to 1 cm and I am 50% effaced. So things are moving along. I am usually so exhausted at the end of the day and Jed lovingly reminded me that if I needed a break, it is ok to let the girls watch more t.v. than I normally do. He said "You can't do it all, all the time."

Yesterday was filled with visits from/with special people we don't get to see very often. My grandma was down for part of the week and it was such a treat to visit with her and for my girls to get to be with her. She gave me a very sweet surprise. She made me two receiving blankets, a burp cloth and three pairs of crocheted booties. My grandma loves to crochet but I know that it is getting harder for her. It was a gift filled with so much love and it made me feel extremely loved that she would take the time to do that for me.





Great Grandpa Romig isn't doing very well. He has lost a lot of weight over the last few months and even more rapidly in the last couple days. We don't know how much longer he will be with us, but felt that we needed to get up to the VA to see him sooner rather than later. We took the girls up last night and Ruby was very apprehensive to even go into his room. But after being with her in the hall for 5 minutes she decided she wanted to. She didn't want to touch him or give him a kiss but she sang a song for him. Emma seemed more comfortable and also sang for him. It was so hard for me to see him so sick. He is such a sweet man and has been an important part of Jed's life. Ruby kept telling me on the way home " When Grandpa Ralph is better can we go see him at his house?" "I just want him to get better." "Did he eat bad food is that why he is sick?" We have been trying in the simplest ways possible to help her understand that he isn't going to get better and will probably be returning to Heavenly Father soon. She seems to be getting it. It makes me very grateful for the assurance I have that we will see him again, and that our relationships can continue after this life.

In parting, a sweet little picture of Miss Emma enjoying a scoop of ice cream at Grandmas.

Going on a bear hunt

This little beauty always makes me smile when I'm feeling sad.