Thursday, March 18, 2010

My emotional trauma at 37

Just as a little preface, Jed's grandpa passed away over the weekend. It was a blessing for him since he has been sick for so long. We will miss him. With that said, the viewing was Tuesday night, the same day as my appointment. I got a call from Jed about 10 minutes before my appointment asking my when I was leaving and he told me he had half the day off and was close and wanted to come to the appointment with me. That was a fun surprise since the only appointments Jed has ever been able to come to were ultrasounds.

At the appointment, we found out that his heartbeat was good I can't remember the # though. I am measuring at 40 1/2 cm. And amazingly I have only put on 1 lb. I was shocked. Since I can put out some pretty hefty numbers. Anyway, as we met with Dr. Later he did an internal check and we found out that I am still at 1 cm dilated and 50% effaced. So nothing in that department has changed, we didn't know if he was head down or not because the nurse forgot to tell me last week, I have been anxious for that bit of news. When the exam was finished Dr. Later said he didn't feel the head but didn't want to press to hard since Eli may still be up higher. So he pulled out the ultrasound machine and did a quick 5 second check to see if the baby was in the correct position. It was very apparent that he is breech with his feet down. The Dr. told us our options.

1) We can hope that he flips on his own before 40 weeks
2) If he hasn't flipped by 39 weeks we can have an external version done, in which we go to the hospital and are put on monitors and given medication to soften up my uterus so that the Dr. can attempt to flip him manually.
3)We can schedule a c-section for 39 weeks.

I left the office very discouraged, because I have delivered both of my girls naturally and I am very frightened of having a c-section. I talked with my sister about her external version and she said it was awful and had a bruised stomach, with no success of turning her baby.

I am nervous about a c-section, because I won't be able to come home and do things that I did when my girls came home, like picking up my older children, or whipping out the vacuum when the carpet needs some attention. I have a difficult time asking for help, and I am also very sad as I think about not being able to see my girls for 3-4 days, since the hospital I am delivering at hasn't lifted the restriction on children under 14 coming to visit. Or other things like that, and I am scared that I will be disappointed in myself and have to deal my emotions over that even though it won't be mine or the baby's fault, and I am not really sure how I will manage that since I usually have baby blues anyway. I keep reminding myself that what is really important is getting my baby here safely and healthy.

Jed and I have been talking about it for the past couple days, and he said that money isn't an issue and that he will support me in my decision no matter what it is. Whether I want to try the EV or just go straight for scheduling a c-section. I am grateful for that, and I am feeling that I would like to try the EV if it even gives me a glimmer of an opportunity for a vaginal birth. I just don't want to wonder later if we could have turned him.

Has anyone out there had an EV? Or what are your feelings on c-sections if you have had one, and how was your experience with either? I feel like getting a wide range of opinions will help me to feel better about either outcome and give me the encouragement I am in need of. I feel silly for being so stressed about this, but I have such a hard time with change, when I am used to things happening a certain way.


  1. That's frustrating Ashley. I have heard of the baby flipping this late in the pregnancy. I would wait it out and go for the EV if you have to. It's hard when you are getting this close to the end and you aren't sure how things are going to work out. I was just there and it's hard. I remember feeling the anxieties of possibly having a c-section and the unknown is a scary thing. Hang in there. It's true that the most important thing is that the baby gets here healthy.
    I watched my sister have her twins by c-section and her daughter too. Pretty amazing stuff. It's a hard recovery, but you can do it if you have to. We'll be praying for you that little Eli will flip. :)

  2. I would try everything you can to get him to flip.... make the C-Section the last resort. In the meantime, I think we should have a family fast for you and this dilemna! You really need it right now! What good is a family if we don't all pull together at times like this? We love you!

  3. I totally have been in your shoes sweetie! My little guy Landon was breech, however my doctor didn't give me the option of trying to flip him because I had high blood pressure and he didn't want to make things worse. I remember praying so hard for the Lord to just help him turn on his own, and then when we had him by c-section at 37 weeks I was told that he had a knot in his cord and if we had flipped him it could have been really bad. I am not trying to scare you in any way I just feel that the Lord has a plan for us and everything works out for some reason. I will keep you in my prayers. Everything will be Okay!!
    Love Froggy

  4. oh ash! decisions! decisions! Ya know, it's such a hard decision. I had a semi emergency c-section and i loved it at the time because I had been in labor for 3 days. i loved that I didn't feel any more pain. However, I have little memories of the event (because it wasn't planned) and I didn't get to hold clay for a few hours (I was knocked out still) and when I did it was for like 2 minutes. For that reason I want to try for a vaginal birth. It is really hard afterwards. it's abdominal surgery and it hurts. I'd try for a vaginal birth, however it's nice to have it planned too. I wish I lived up there, I'd be there to vaccum and help out for you. You'll definately need help if you do a c-section. It's rough, but not the worst thing ever. So if you do have to have a csection I will cheer you on! don't hunch your shoulders afterwards when you are walking and try to roll over at night as much as possible after the surgery. Have help ready, because there is no way you should or can do it on your own afterwards. ***However, it's the worst news ever, because you can ensure a safe delivery for your little guy and you! sorry about your tough times chicka! --kim

  5. My ***however is supposed to say it's NOT the worst news

  6. Oh friend! I hate tough choices. How weird one of my friends had all her girls regular and her boys were breach and C-section. Kinda weird and similar. I will say this to start out. Dr L does the BEST sections EVER! I waited to have another baby till I could have him do it. I really didn't think it was that bad, either time. And he would forsure let you try a VBAC if you have another kid who is not breech. He let me try. I would probably try for the turn/wait to see if he may on his own, and then schedule the section if you have to. Be glad you know you can do it and you have twice. I always thought that would make me feel better about having sections. ;) It is sometimes hard to think about the main thing "a healthy baby" when the getting here seems like such a tough choice.(during my first delivery when they told me I had to have a c-section, I told them to tie my tubes while they were in there, I was a little irrational, because it seemed like such a big deal) But once you have had him and it is all done, it will not even matter how he got here. That is what I have learned. Good luck friend!

  7. You know Ash, first off, that is a little rough finding out he is breech, but at the same time, I see so many women having c-sections now, and you know what? Yeah the recovery time is a tad longer, but it is not the worst thing in the world. We get patients up within twelve hours after having one, and usually you can shower within eighteen hours if you want, plus now they are doing these new dissolvable staples so when you get ready to go home, you don't have to have them removed, they just dissolve into the skin which is nice. Also in some ways, it might be kind of nice to have him a week early since you are kind of miserable as it is. Also with c-sections, your bleeding afterwords isn't as heavy, and I've heard from several rns that usually the bleeding stops quicker than people who have vaginal births. As long as you are willing to get up and move around and walk after your c-section, I know you will be fine and have a good recovery, because the getting up and walking is what makes you heal after a c-section, and if you need help with the girls let me know. Good luck, Ashley, I know it will all work out and be okay. We are excited to see little Eli!

  8. PS I have to say Dr L doesn't do staples at all, he does stitches, and that is part of the reason it looks so nice after(as if that is the biggest worry lol) But no getting anything removed which is fab! I agree with Meg, if you get up and move around soon after you recover a lot faster. I was SO worried about the recovery and not being able to do anything but it wasn't nearly as bad as I had anticipated.

  9. K I need to stop, but I remembered one other thing. When my sis in law had her baby she met her hubby and other kids in the cafeteria for lunch. I thought that was a great idea and then you dont have to not see them for so long.