My emotional trauma at 37

Just as a little preface, Jed's grandpa passed away over the weekend. It was a blessing for him since he has been sick for so long. We will miss him. With that said, the viewing was Tuesday night, the same day as my appointment. I got a call from Jed about 10 minutes before my appointment asking my when I was leaving and he told me he had half the day off and was close and wanted to come to the appointment with me. That was a fun surprise since the only appointments Jed has ever been able to come to were ultrasounds.

At the appointment, we found out that his heartbeat was good I can't remember the # though. I am measuring at 40 1/2 cm. And amazingly I have only put on 1 lb. I was shocked. Since I can put out some pretty hefty numbers. Anyway, as we met with Dr. Later he did an internal check and we found out that I am still at 1 cm dilated and 50% effaced. So nothing in that department has changed, we didn't know if he was head down or not because the nurse forgot to tell me last week, I have been anxious for that bit of news. When the exam was finished Dr. Later said he didn't feel the head but didn't want to press to hard since Eli may still be up higher. So he pulled out the ultrasound machine and did a quick 5 second check to see if the baby was in the correct position. It was very apparent that he is breech with his feet down. The Dr. told us our options.

1) We can hope that he flips on his own before 40 weeks
2) If he hasn't flipped by 39 weeks we can have an external version done, in which we go to the hospital and are put on monitors and given medication to soften up my uterus so that the Dr. can attempt to flip him manually.
3)We can schedule a c-section for 39 weeks.

I left the office very discouraged, because I have delivered both of my girls naturally and I am very frightened of having a c-section. I talked with my sister about her external version and she said it was awful and had a bruised stomach, with no success of turning her baby.

I am nervous about a c-section, because I won't be able to come home and do things that I did when my girls came home, like picking up my older children, or whipping out the vacuum when the carpet needs some attention. I have a difficult time asking for help, and I am also very sad as I think about not being able to see my girls for 3-4 days, since the hospital I am delivering at hasn't lifted the restriction on children under 14 coming to visit. Or other things like that, and I am scared that I will be disappointed in myself and have to deal my emotions over that even though it won't be mine or the baby's fault, and I am not really sure how I will manage that since I usually have baby blues anyway. I keep reminding myself that what is really important is getting my baby here safely and healthy.

Jed and I have been talking about it for the past couple days, and he said that money isn't an issue and that he will support me in my decision no matter what it is. Whether I want to try the EV or just go straight for scheduling a c-section. I am grateful for that, and I am feeling that I would like to try the EV if it even gives me a glimmer of an opportunity for a vaginal birth. I just don't want to wonder later if we could have turned him.

Has anyone out there had an EV? Or what are your feelings on c-sections if you have had one, and how was your experience with either? I feel like getting a wide range of opinions will help me to feel better about either outcome and give me the encouragement I am in need of. I feel silly for being so stressed about this, but I have such a hard time with change, when I am used to things happening a certain way.