Last Monday April 20th or something like that, I was in a crazy mood. My emotions were ridiculous, everything made me want to cry or get really angry. I hate feeling that way, I sent Jed a text and asked him if when he got home he could give me a Priesthood blessing. He asked what was up and I explained how I was feeling. He said absolutely he would. When he came home we chatted for a bit and then he gave me a blessing I felt much better and knew that the words came from the Lord.
The rest of the week passed fairly normal and come Friday evening I was feeling very down and depressed for no real reason. Things that were bugging me that normally wouldn't.I went to the neighbors to take a family picture of them after their race and when I got home I came and laid my head in Jed's lap and said "I feel crazy do you think I could be?" He said it is possible but probably not. I do get a little flighty pre-lady time. Things didn't seem quite right, so I crept to the bathroom and took out my favorite dollar store pregnancy tests, did my business and watched at the test worked it's routine function. I saw a very strong line and then a faint but still there line. I meandered downstairs to show Jed and asked is this what I think it is? He took a look and said "yes, yes it is." With a very large grin on his face.
I am terrible at keeping secrets about myself, however when I found out I was pregnant on my 26th birthday and then I miscarried a few days later, I couldn't bear the thought of telling people and then having to retell them the sad news. So I am keeping my secret for as long as I can, I really as so excited. Gentle reminders from Heavenly Father have come on many occasions that it was time for us to welcome a new baby into our family but I would always talk myself out of it saying that "The timing isn't right, or we have too much on our plate as it is." At the beginning of the year though these thoughts have come again and again and remembrances of previous reminders He has given us. We have fasted, prayed, visited the Temple time and again it has been made clear what it is we need to do. So I have put aside my fear and have replaced it with the faith that Heavenly Father wants us to be happy and knows best how to do that. I am grateful for His help in helping me get out of my own way because I like to think that I know what is best.
I really am so excited and it is fun having a secret.
I feel like I am kind of avoiding getting together with people because I am just bursting to tell someone, but I promised that I would wait until I am 10 weeks. I got together with a friend yesterday and I wanted to tell her but didn't.
I am feeling really good, like I did with Eli. Boy maybe? My mom came on Monday and I was being super careful to make sure there was no evidence lying around. I hung onto my prego test and I had to put that and my prenatals under the counter so she wouldn't see. While she was here the Dr. office called and I took the call in the bathroom, gratefully she didn't ask who it was. :)
I am trying really hard to eat well this time around because gaining 50 lbs a pregnancy isn't a good idea on a short frame like mine. And I can eat like no body's business. Like the time I ate a dozen cookies at night when I couldn't sleep when I was pregnant with Eli.
I never watch t.v. during the day, but I am finding I like to laze about in the afternoon and Eli will just lay by me and look at his book. It is a nice little arrangement.
Oatmeal Toffee Chocolate Chip Cookies
4 days ago