36 weeks and a few days officially

Got to go to my appt this morning and things look great! Blood pressure is down and the protein in my urine is gone. I think last time was just a fluke. So all is well there. I wanted to close my eyes when I got on the scale at the office. I weighed in at 195. Always a good time, hoping that I can at least stay under 200. But if not oh well, I am kind of done being stressed about the scale. It seems like it doesn't matter what i eat or how I exercise because the weight just keeps coming on. Gratefully it drops pretty quickly afterwards.

I am measuring at 40 weeks, so now I am only measuring 4 weeks ahead. Jax's heartbeat is good and I got tested for group b strep today. I am dilated to a 1 and effaced 60%. All very normal for me.  Dr. gave me the "If you go into labor" pep talk, reminding me to come right in and so on.

I pre registered with the hospital and they set up a web pay pin for me and I would always get to the last step and it wouldn't allow me to finish. I talked to the lady in the office about it and she gave me a # to call but I decided to take matters into my own hands and just decided to take a little trip to the labor and delivery floor for a peek even though I knew they couldn't help me. :) They directed me down the hall and I went and took care of things in the main hospital in the registration office. They keep the L&

D on lock down to keep babies safe and I needed to go back though the locked doors to get back to my car.

There was a sign on the door the wall that said "Press intercom and wait for nurse to respond" which I did and after a full minute someone came on and said "Don't just press the button tell me what you need." I felt like telling her to change the sign, then someone who worked in the hospital flashed their badge and went through. So I just followed. She said to me "You should probably wait for them to buzz you through." I explained that I was coming from registration and just needed to get back to my car. She then was telling me "They keep it on lock down to keep the babies safe, not that I think you are going to do something crazy." I apologized and just continued on. 

It was really fun seeing the L&D again. I haven't been there in almost 4 years. They have totally remodeled and it sparked my excitement as I was feeling quite scared since I had some crazy dreams. We also read a Christmas story a few days ago about a families baby that died at Christmas time and then 20 years later they had a granddaughter born 20 years later on Christmas day and the contrast of those two occurrences. Emma cried and cried and was so upset, and asked "What if that happens to our baby? I don't want our baby to die. I want to have a big family and lots of brothers and sisters." I felt so bad and wished I would have read through it first. It forced us to discuss things that are scary and a possibility.

I have also been trying to calm my nerves about BF. I am such a spas. Surprise. :)