Coming home

I love being home! Adjustment for everyone has gone really well. Eli repeats what he hears so when Jax would cry Eli would scream in his face for the first 2 days. He would go to his room each time it happened and he doesn't do it anymore, He is very sweet with the baby and can be found saying phrases like "What's wrong, honey?" "Come here, baby." "It's ok, Daxon." It really has been quite a miracle to see. The girls have done pretty good as well, a couple times Ruby would say things like "This has been a bad day." Which I would smile at because it would be said right after they got home from the movies with Jed. Emma has taken on what I call the "kicked dog" look a few times, when we have had to talk to her in a grumpy or louder than normal voice because she is doddling and is going to be late for her ride to school or is just ignoring us.

Jaxon loves to be held and so he spends half the night in his crib and once he is fed and being held, he doesn't want to go back and cries after 15 minutes or so of being in the crib, he has struggled to keep the binki in his mouth for the first week and so he and I have spend the other half of the night either on the couch or in the recliner. I am so thankful for comfy furniture because I can sleep too.

Nursing has been a real struggle for us. I thought it was going so well, until I took him to his appt at 5 days and he had lost 13 oz. The ped said he needed to put weight on, and with pumping I was only getting a 1/2 to 1 tsp of milk, so it was there but supply was horrible, and I have been glued to the couch for over a week. It was bringing me down. A friend gave me some excellent advice and said "What ever you do, do it with love, weather it is bottle or breastfeeding do it with love." She is brilliant. I decided yesterday for my mental health I was going to bottle feed and I have felt so much better. I have had so much support from friends and family via visits, phone calls and texts. they are incredible. Jed has also been supportive in whatever I have chosen to do and has been a great support here at home and also emotionally. He gave me a Priesthood blessing a few nights ago and it helped so much.

The girls love to hold Jaxon, it took Eli about a week to want to hold him. All three have been extremely good helpers, doing whatever needed to be done, Ruby even learned how to change Eli's diapers this past week.

You really do forget how small these little ones are, I love how cuddly and warm they are. Jaxon smiles in his sleep a lot and with all of the faces he pulls I see each of my children in him and have even thought he looks like my brother Spencer. He has even tried to suck his fingers like Spencer used to. We are nipping that in the bud, one finger sucker in the family is enough for us. :)

Wishing the weather was warmer so I could go for a walk.

Eli went to Sunbeams for the first time ever and I was SO worried about how he would do. Jed sent me a text and said he was having a hard time. This was before they got everyone in their seats and there was lots of pandemonium. As soon as Eli's teacher came, he left Jed's side and went and sat with his class and did really great, and participated in singing time. In class though his teacher took her eyes off him for a few minutes and he decorated the back of his metal chair with green crayon. Oops. I am so happy that overall he did excellent. He just seems to keep doing better and better.



Jed was sleeping with Jax and I was hoping to get a picture of them sleeping together, but instead it scared Jed awake, hence the deer in the headlights look.

Mr. Jaxon's Debut

Jed and I went to the hospital on the morning of the 28th, the evening before I was waiting for the hospital to call me and they never did. By 10 p.m. I decided it was reasonable for me to call them and see what was happening. The Dr. had me scheduled for 6:15 a.m. but the charge nurse said the day had been crazy and would like me to call her at 5 a..m the next morning to see if that time would still work, and if not they would push it back.

I called at 5 and she asked if I could come in at 7. I felt fine with that and quite relieved because I was worried they would push me way back. We got our other littles into the car and took them to my mama's. And then headed to the hospital, the intake lady seemed quite surprised when we arrived and told us that no one informed her and that they should have. It was a slow start and the room wasn't ready and there was no pitocin available right away so we took it leisurely and by about 9 a.m. things started rolling.

I was having small contractions on my own and I was dilated to a 2 and effaced about 60%, Dr. came and broke my water. Normal for me is to have a huge gush, but this time there was just a trickle and then nothing. The Dr. told me I made this baby too comfortable,  because baby was up so high. I responded "I think I make all of my babies too comfortable." He laughed and agreed. They started the 2 IV's and I decided that I wasn't sure if I wanted the epidural or not because it doesn't last very long on me and I hate being super numb when they have to redo it to give me the numb effect and so the nurse brought me a booklet that had lots of ideas on coping mechanisms and strategies. I used those for about 2 1/2 hours, walked around and stood up and peed like a million times, Jed always helped me with the cords and stretching the IV pole to the ladies facility.  until I was at a 3 and decided that I wanted it. It was my Dr. that checked me and he wasn't wearing his scrubs because he went next door to work out while he waited for things to progress.

The anesthesiologist came in and gave me the goods and told me as she put the medicine in I may feel a jolt in my leg. I hadn't ever experienced that before but this time I did and it felt like I was being shocked in my knee cap. The nurse told me later that she had heard about it but had never witnessed it happen.They turned me on my back to get check me and get all of the monitors adjusted and I felt like I was going to throw up. It was fun. :)

After I got the epidural Jed asked me if I wanted to take a nap. I did and I dozed of for about an hour and a half and then woke up to lots of pressure and feeling lots of contractions. The nurse checked me and I was dilated to a 5. We told her that I go very quickly from a 5 to a 10 very quickly. She checked me 30 minutes later confused at to why my Dr. called and insisted because she said she just checked me and sure enough I was an 8 and she went to call the Dr. and get the room set up for delivery. Jed was so sweet, I was still mildly numb but could feel a lot, Jed rubbed my neck and shoulders to help keep me calm, it really helped.

Dr. arrived 15 minutes later and we were ready to push.

Dr. arrived and we pushed for 3 sets of 10 three times. I got a major nose bleed and Jed helped keep my face clean for me as I pushed. As Jaxon's head was crowning and being delivered the dr. noticed that he had the cord around his neck twice and was able to unloop it. It didn't effect his heart rate or anything which was good. On the last push out of 3 he was here. His face was blue and it took a bit for him to cry, his color eventually changed and he has been great. Delivery was 5 hours, I shant complain about that.

He is the sweetest boy. His face was a little swollen from the cord around his neck, I think he looked a lot like Ruby the first day and now I think he looks like Emma's twin in boy form. :) I bled really heavy the first day and was passing clots the size of salad plates, which meant a lot of kneading of my middle section. Most unpleasant.

Jaxon just likes to be held and be close, he didn't stay in the nursery much because they could never make him happy but he was happy when he was with me. I like being in the hospital because I get 3 meals and don't have to worry about anyone else, but I hate being woken up repeatedly and I get lonely and miss my family. I cried when Jed had to leave to take care of the kids.

It was such a great experience having a healthy baby this time and not having to worry about lots of health problems. We are so in love with this little guy and so blessed to have him  with us.

38 weeks

Got greeted by my children this morning with a "Merry Christmas Eve!!" Ruby made waffles for everyone while I got showered for my appt. Eli was very excited about a car ride and we headed on our way. I stopped by my parents to drop the kids off and visited with my Mom and Dallen for a few minutes. And then headed on my way to the hospital, the parking lot was quite empty.

I put on an 1 1/2 lbs. totaling 41. I peed on a stick, had my blood pressure taken which was right on the boarder today, am measuring at 43 weeks. Jax's heart rate was 145 and I had fun visiting with Melanie.

The Doc came in and we talked about the results of the ultrasound, he said he was very surprised by the results but said chances are still good by the time baby gets here he could be 8 lbs, then said "7,8,9 lbs is no problem for you. So do you want to have your baby next week?" I asked if Friday was an option, and he said he could do Saturday as I will be 39 weeks on Saturday and the hospital and he won't induce before 39 weeks. He will be on call for the weekend so he told me he needed to go out and make a call. He called L&D and gave them all of my information and got us all scheduled for Saturday. The only way it won't happen then is if there is a slew of pregnant ladies who come in, then my priority would drop and we would have to wait until Monday. I am crossing my fingers that other ladies babies will want to hang out for a while longer so we can go in on Saturday. :)

When I came back to get my girls, Ruby came over and patted me on the tummy and said "So, how did the appointment go?" And then she ran and told Emma the news who when she is excited screams. It was funny.

It seriously feels so long since we had a new bay bay. The first 7 months always go so slow for me and the last 2 months has gone so quickly particularly the last 4 weeks. We are all very excited to welcome Jaxon into our home and start our new adventure.

Waiting, prep, and fun.

It would have been quite comical to see me on Friday, I was like a teenager waiting for the phone to ring...and waiting...and waiting...The day went so slow! My Dr. said he would call me to get things set up with the hospital for delivery. He never called. I am sure when I talk to him on Tuesday he will get an ear full I have already prepared my speech.

"You don't write, you don't call..." that is about as far as I gotten, chances are actually pretty good I won't say anything. I was kind of figuring since the baby was measuring on the smaller side(for me) that I kind of moved down the list of priority and there wasn't any rush to set anything up. I will be going in for my 38 week appt on Christmas Eve so I have been telling myself that  things will get set up then. I haven't ever gone into labor on my own, I would like to experience that but I know what my body does and I could well go two weeks over my due date.

Dallen came home from Japan on Friday night! It was so wonderful to see him, he was pretty tired because he had been traveling for over 26 hours. It was so fun to laugh with him again about things that only we think are funny and only references we get. He also gives excellent hugs and has to bend way over to give me one since he is a foot taller than I.

I have been getting eager to put away my maternity clothes and I had a dear friend a few months ago who cleaned out her closet and gave me some really cute items that will work beautifully for post pregnancy and nursing. So I got into my closet and got everything organized and put a few things away that I don't wear anymore and got to bring out new things for afterwards, it was an exciting feeling.

I was released from my calling as 1st councilor in the Young Woman's presidency in my ward. It was bitter sweet. I knew it needed to happen because of all of the things going on in our family. There are so many things that we are juggling that something needed to drop, and this is the one thing that I could let go without the world falling apart or something else important being neglected. I also felt that the calling required more than I could give at the moment and that didn't seem fair to the girls or to the presidency I was serving with. It is hard to let go, but I feel extreme peace about it and that it was right.

We got Jax's carseat out of the closet, I was thinking it would need to be assembled having never experienced a new carseat, instead it just needed to be pulled out of the box and Eli was thrilled to test it out. It is amazing how these little ones grow. He will be 4 in just a couple of months and it is incomprehensible to me that he once fit in a carseat that size and  had to pass the carseat test before he could go home because of his 02 levels being very inconsistent in the hospital. Where does the time go? It is also interesting to me that basically the spacing between Eli and Jax will be basically the same amount of time as Ruby and Eli so I had 3 children in that time period. It is interesting to think about.


It is really ironic that all the things I worried about in the beginning have kind of worked themselves out. Every time I worry or wonder about something, I just remember the sacred experience I had in the Temple as I was praying about the decision to have another child. Time and time again, Heavenly Father has kept his promise and I get hit with the realization that He really does know what is best for us and that He will help us all along the way. The girls have become such good helpers, especially with Eli, they read to him, help him in the tub, clean up when he spills something, the list is endless. Eli has also grown leaps and bounds and is coming along, he is such a sweet boy and his speech is just exploding. It has been very exciting to see. We will have a transition of course, but it will go so much better than I thought.


Jed built a fort with the girls yesterday while I went and did our big Christmas and post baby stock up so that meal time is simple. It was fun going by myself, kind of like a last hoorah. I cringed when I got to the register though. I have never spent that much at Costco, but I know that my family will be eating well and taken care of and I can just focus on the essentials for a few weeks.

Eli loves "nets" anything with a pattern that criss crosses or anything like that he loves. Last week he came in to our room after waking up dragging his "bednet" (blanket) and gave it a hug and said "I love bednet' and kissed it. He is so sweet, I was preparing to get our ham into the crock pot and was looking at the instructions and I gave the netted bag to Eli and he put it on his head. We were calling him lunch lady.

I am so grateful for my little people, they are each so special and loving. Glad they are mine. Emma made my bed this morning and Ruby has been cuddling Eli. 

Ultrasound results and stuff

I drank my water and by 9:30 I had to pee. They insisted that it takes 1 hour for the water to hit your bladder. Hogwash! I was walking hunched into the hospital and taking bird steps because it hurt so bad. Not to mention I was trying very hard not to slip the lovely slush storm that hit this morning.

I got to the front desk and informed them that I was all ready to go, and about to wet my pants. They asked if my bladder was full. Little jokesters. I told them that I would just stand in the corner because sitting put pressure in places I didn't need it. I am sure they love my candor. Not a minute later the ultrasound tech came out and called for me. Then she said "Your last name is Christensen right?"  I said nope and she checked her charts and said "Oh, there is two Ashleys in a row. Your not here for your 20 week?" Nope, I replied here for my 38 week weight check. She did a quick look around and whispered, "We will take you back first, 20 week checks take a lot longer and I have her out there drinking her water." I rejoiced!

Jax is weighing in at 7.1 lbs, and is currently swimming in 16 cm of amniotic fluid which is excellent. His swimming pool is nice and full. :) It was fun as she was measuring his head we could see his hair floating in the water. It was pretty cool!

The appt was quite quick and I was going to head back to my moms house, As i was coming down the hill I was going slow and braking but I slid into the back of a stopped truck. I was horrified. Gratefully I am ok and I didn't bump my belly or anything else. Jax was moving around well afterwards so I knew he was ok. I punched the hitch through my bumper and pushed the bed of the guys truck forward. he was very nice, as it so happens he was just up at the hospital having their baby checked for weight as well. It was comfortable having something to talk about, and he kept telling me not to worry and that it was just cars, and life happens, we are both ok and that is all that matters. It could have been so much worse and I am so thankful we are both fine.

It took over an hour and half to wait for the police and get things sorted out. I am so lucky I didn't get a ticket. My SIL picked Emma and Eli up at my house and got Eli off the bus and I was able to meet her right as she was getting them out of the car. She seriously saved my bacon.

Dr. will call tomorrow and we will get my induction set up. :) Looking forward to it. :)

37 weeks

I was up at 2 a.m. this morning and Sir Jaxon was all sorts of busy. Being the good wife that I am, I woke Jed up because I was tired of being awake by myself, and talked to him for a bit and then let him go back to sleep. I too eventually went to sleep at 4.

My dr. appt went splendidly, I didn't gain any weight this time, I was sure I would after  my toast and blackberry jam marathon, santa clause sugar cookie and fudge the scale would be pointing it's numbers of judgement at me. Not gaining anything was nothing short of a Christmas miracle. :)

I am measuring ahead still but I forgot to ask how much because I had other questions I wanted to ask. I just have to say how much I enjoy nurse Kerrie very much. It is like visiting with a friend before I see the Dr. I am going to miss her when my reg visits come to a close.  I asked her how essential it was for me to drink the 16 oz before my ultrasound on Thursday and assured her that I was worried I would pee my pants at this point if I had to hold it that long, she said that the ultrasound tech would send me out to drink more water and wait if my bladder wasn't properly filled, so it was just better to do what was asked of me. She helped me work out a little plan, to just skip my 7:30 drink a thon. I drink probably 3/4 of a gallon everyday. I do love me my water. My blood pressure is excellent and Jaxon's heart rate is good.

I had an internal check and I am still dilated to 1 cm and effaced 60 % quite standard for me to stick around those numbers. I asked the Dr. if Jax was head down last week because I forgot to ask and he said yes, but he did a double check from the inside and also from the outside, as he did so I burst out laughing. I covered my face to get control of myself and apologized. He said it was fine, and I am sure he has seen all sorts of outburst in his office.But I was quite mortified, gratefully the good man is in his 60's and went to medical school with my uncle, but still quite awkward when something you just can't seem to help happens.

I have my ultrasound on Thursday and I am quite excited. I have never seen a baby via ultrasound at this stage so it will be fun other than having a painfully full bladder. Can you tell that I am not looking forward to that part? Jed isn't able to come as he has work and is taking a certification test on his lunch break, so I invited my mom to come with me. It will be fun having her along. I love getting to see her for a little bit after my appts before I go home. She always treats me to lunch, I shant complain. :)

On the way out of the office I said sweet adieu to the gals at the at the front desk and let them know that I was all scheduled up to the end and she smiled at me and said "Just so you know you look fantastic." It made my day. I like nice words from nice people.

Christmas has come to mean more.

I have been thinking about the events of last year as, many of my cute Young Women have said to me "Wouldn't it be fun to have your baby on Christmas?!?!" I am quick to tell them no, it wouldn't be fun.

Last year Christmas eve started out bright and beautiful and fun. I posted this little tid bit on facebook

"Started our morning out right, participated in the mad dash to get the garbage out as the garbage truck was passing our house, when I got out there with intentions to wheel it across the street I found that a good samaritan moved it to the curb for me. Emma and i had the best dance party this side of Miami in our very own kitchen whilst noshing toast, and eli got into the festivities by swiveling ...his hips while reading the ensign and swigging crystal light. Ruby and Sir Romig are still taking a long winters nap. It's going to be a beautiful day, Heart full of gratitude for the next two days making memories with the people I love most. In other good news, stopped said Sir Romig from imbibing the whole bottle of gifted sparkling cider so the girls could have some since I always finish off all the goodie plates before anyone else can partake. He seriously could have finished it off in 5 seconds. He is a modern marvel and we are glad he is ours. Happy Christmas!!!"

 

By the afternoon Eli was not feeling very well, and was wanting to cuddle, which at that point was a sign that something wasn't right. We took the rest of the afternoon with a slower enthusiasm than normal but continued with our usual traditions and plans. Pizza for dinner, family movie and Christmas story and opening of Christmas Eve jammies. All the kids were in bed and I got into the tub. Jed came and got me and said he heard Eli throw up and he started having a seizure. His seizure have never lasted more than 5 minutes and this one wouldn't stop. As I got into my robe, Jed gave him a Priesthood blessing and we called 911. And they took him to the hospital. He seized for an hour and 40 minutes before they could stop it.  

Jed went with him, and I stayed until my parents could come be with the girls. My neighbor came and Sarah also came. She heard sirens and thought of us and immediately came. I left for the hospital and my parents came and stayed with the girls and then ended up taking the girls to their home for Christmas.

I still remember how frightening it was to come to the hospital and seeing our sweet Eli hooked up to all these monitors and oxygen. I can never take pictures, because it just hurts my heart to much to remember in that way, and it is all still so vivid in my mind. The pain, worry and fear of the situation was so real. There was a sweet hospital policeman that came in and brought Eli a little match box car, and we had many ward and family members checking on us even late into the night. Peoples goodness never fails to amaze me. He was transferred via ambulance to Primary Childrens because they couldn't treat him at the hospital he was at. 

They flooded him with seizure meds and he was pretty exhausted and sleepy. (He could barely walk the next couple days) We got Eli settled into his little crib and Jed and I were able to go to sleep at 5 a.m. 

Jed's parents came to see us Christmas day and my parents made Christmas special for my girls. It came down to that Eli had a seizure because he was sick and his body wasn't absorbing his medication properly. We were able to come home that afternoon. One of the residents was questioning the Dr. about his decision to let us go home, the Dr. assured her that he believed we knew how to take care of him and would do it well.  but And I felt so good to be home together as a family. I missed being with all my little ones on Christmas.

 

That was a gloss over of all the events but, having experienced that Christmas has come to mean more to me. Heavenly Father sent his Only Begotten Son, to desend below all things so that He could understand our pains, sins, weaknesses, and trials and help us along with compassion. At the darkest moments of our lives He knows how we feel and how to help us. He came simply because He loves us and wants us to return home to our Father. 

 

That night, I felt of my Saviors love and comfort.  I truly felt that He came just for me. Because I felt of His presence I could deal with the situation with peace, even though I was afraid. 

I am so grateful that Jesus Christ came to the earth to teach us how to live and love. He came to earth in such humble circumstances and lived a perfect life in simplicity. He healed the sick, caused the blind to see, the lame to walk and the deaf to hear. He preformed so many miracles while He was here and most importantly showed us the way. I love him. 

The day will come when He will come again and we will be able to be with Him if we so choose. He will dry all of our tears and we will know what He has truly done for each of us.

Here is one of my favorite Christmas songs ever. It sums up why for me Christmas has come to mean more.